Self Portrait Behind the Pixels
![](https://cdn.myportfolio.com/8d93778d-e6bc-4866-a233-4e8542265981/37a8bf2f-277d-474d-a1b2-86e6cb26d3f8_rw_1200.jpg?h=b05eb3b08d2f235539e843e8dd98c5ff)
“Self Portrait Behind The Pixels”, 70″ x 70″, made in November 2016.
This is me, an actual human being behind my online presence. As we talk to each other online, please don’t forget that I am a real person behind the pixels. Let’s all be more understanding, respectful, and kind.
This is a concept that probably rings true for many of us; however this idea did not guide the design. In fact, I found its meaning after I made it.
It started with a selfie on Instagram – something I rarely post. Hey, I just got some highlights in my hair!
This is me, an actual human being behind my online presence. As we talk to each other online, please don’t forget that I am a real person behind the pixels. Let’s all be more understanding, respectful, and kind.
This is a concept that probably rings true for many of us; however this idea did not guide the design. In fact, I found its meaning after I made it.
It started with a selfie on Instagram – something I rarely post. Hey, I just got some highlights in my hair!
![](https://cdn.myportfolio.com/8d93778d-e6bc-4866-a233-4e8542265981/47517c2b-c4c3-49a6-86db-8722c57ae130_rw_1200.jpg?h=54108c62c78eddf0097575cb33ffa8b6)
I cropped the image a bit, placed it in a grid, and applied some digital effects. Why a grid? It’s freeing. It makes an enormous project approachable – just make one square at a time. A grid makes it easier for me to find order and to help make a design come to life. It gives me a sense of clarity and confidence. Without it, I’m a bit overwhelmed and design is daunting. It just so happens that a grid gives a digital, pixelated effect that I love. And it’s pretty perfect for quiltmaking.
![](https://cdn.myportfolio.com/8d93778d-e6bc-4866-a233-4e8542265981/82cd1b2a-df13-4974-b2d0-c2b56b0f4167_rw_1200.png?h=f6c88b08f11720ba482532532558c0e6)
![](https://cdn.myportfolio.com/8d93778d-e6bc-4866-a233-4e8542265981/530c30dc-a9a7-4409-986b-2fcadf98ae05_rw_1200.png?h=0b53def183ec9321838076cc3f7aef3a)
I brought it into Adobe Illustrator, cleaned things up a bit, and established my color key. I gave myself the constraints of only using the fabrics that I already have, and only prints.
![](https://cdn.myportfolio.com/8d93778d-e6bc-4866-a233-4e8542265981/b1b3adb5-0868-4334-bec7-ca23da9979d0_rw_1200.png?h=da2a7b6bb55d5b9bce22998a8a336ccc)
I separated each square into a FPP pattern and printed them off.
![](https://cdn.myportfolio.com/8d93778d-e6bc-4866-a233-4e8542265981/39e14ac7-5d27-4274-b59d-7b0e1e4bbc15_rw_1200.jpg?h=19c2d9b7f2c57690aa29166994404340)
As I started making blocks and throwing them on the design wall, I felt a bit iffy about the fabrics. But I just told myself to go with it.
![](https://cdn.myportfolio.com/8d93778d-e6bc-4866-a233-4e8542265981/bd7fbb4d-f9dd-4e33-9fb7-009231575a18_rw_1200.jpg?h=aa5d14059d4b67e677d2d6d175946ba0)
FPP is definitely one of my happy places, so I gladly just focused on that.
![](https://cdn.myportfolio.com/8d93778d-e6bc-4866-a233-4e8542265981/e9e32ce9-fb8a-4dee-9f5f-1448ca13ded3_rw_1200.jpg?h=41212818d8a12f40bbbde136bd607b37)
A bit more progress, and still a bit nervous. I worried that the eye was too weird. I powered on.
![](https://cdn.myportfolio.com/8d93778d-e6bc-4866-a233-4e8542265981/c4f17b66-ecef-47b5-a156-9d05c2cdc6b6_rw_1200.jpg?h=49829393f9f875a176141c77661a8054)
Finished with the blocks, now to sew them all together.
![](https://cdn.myportfolio.com/8d93778d-e6bc-4866-a233-4e8542265981/4979b032-6519-4f37-b398-d9968ac97fab_rw_1200.jpg?h=99ee37a4a5ef0d27bcccc26dc3dd1277)
Then peeling off paper from the back. Oddly satisfying.
![](https://cdn.myportfolio.com/8d93778d-e6bc-4866-a233-4e8542265981/21f6e309-9978-429f-af60-94b81472f4c5_rw_1200.jpg?h=a0aa42d242169125bcea9f5a80202ea6)
And the top is done! I changed up some of the background fabric choices, even using the “wrong” side of the fabric to give some value variation, a first for me.
![](https://cdn.myportfolio.com/8d93778d-e6bc-4866-a233-4e8542265981/bdae6f0d-cdce-46f7-a386-0b66cef257ce_rw_1200.jpg?h=b4e77c2c0c673cdca00cf30a37b242cc)
Rather than quilting it myself, I sent the quilt top to my friend Laura Pukstas who has a longarm quilting machine. I told Laura that it’d be cool to have horizontal straight lines on the background, with the shapes (hair/eye/etc) to be outlined and filled with whatever she thinks is good. I love what she did.
![](https://cdn.myportfolio.com/8d93778d-e6bc-4866-a233-4e8542265981/4d953140-2719-4ec8-95ee-2b0d77d0d0b7_rw_1200.jpg?h=10e93017c23ba9bdfe3f0491480f1e74)
So while I didn’t set out to make a statement quilt, it happened anyway. This design was guided by the simple art concepts of a grid, polygonal shapes, and materials constraints, yet I happened upon its perfect narrative at the end, without even thinking of assigning any meaning during the making process. Fascinating. I wonder how intentionally connecting meaning early in the process will affect my work.
I’ll leave you with this: Let’s look through the pixels, see each other as the beautiful humans we are, and make more of an effort to understand one other before passing judgment online.